CCC Blog

Every story is different, but so often the sentiment is the same: this wasn’t exactly part of our plan. It’s not surprising that we, in our culture would want to plan. We’re the generation of iPhones and day planners, task lists and instant messaging, birth control and choices. It seems logical enough that we could simply make a plan, and execute it. And yet we still find ourselves surprised, frustrated, or caught off guard, and often by our very own bodies! But I’ve been pondering recently how perfect it is, in many ways, that “planning a pregnancy” isn’t always as easy as it seems. After all, the same can certainly be said for planning a birth, or planning to raise kids. Preparing, on the other hand, it a completely different story.

The difference between planning and preparing is acknowledging that we do not have control over every detail. With labor and birth, as with pregnancy, we do not know when it will happen, or what exactly it will feel like when it does. We cannot predict where we will be when we realize it’s happening, or how long it will take to complete the task. And just like pregnancy (or parenthood), labor can completely take us over and things can go differently than we expected – “due dates” come and go with no labor, the birth tub isn’t ready or available, the midwife that you wanted isn’t on call tonight, your blood pressure rises, dilating seems to be taking forever . . .

But none of this means that we have no power and it certainly doesn’t mean that all is lost. There are things that we can do. We can educate ourselves about what happens most of the time. We can find out what our options are if something out of the ordinary happens. We can let go of the fears that we might have, and that very well might hold us back from the experience that we really want. We can surround ourselves with people that we trust, and who support our decisions. We can have an idea of how we want things to go, but then be flexible and make changes, together and with intention. We can relax and enjoy the ride.

It’s not always a fun feeling to be out of control – the hormonal swings of a newly pregnant woman, the almost overwhelming double-peak contractions of transition, the exhaustion of sleep deprivation – but I believe that, with each phase of this amazing journey, we learn to release our expectations, trust ourselves, have patience, and relax. Sometimes nothing will quite go according to your best laid plans, but hopefully you’ve already prepared for that possibility.

Best Laid Plans

By Danielle Johns-Preston

3/23/10

“We weren’t even trying . . . but here we are.” “It took over two years for us to get pregnant . . . it was a really difficult process.” “We were expecting it to take a little longer . . . who gets pregnant the first month?!”

Older Entries

Labor Is Hard Work!

By Amy Lynch

3/29/10

After my third son was born, I was talking with a woman who had also just had a baby, we were sharing our experiences of labor and birth, however our experiences and our perceptions were very different.  She described to me that even though she had has an epidural her labor was very painful and in fact was the worst pain she had ever felt.  This was her second baby.  When it was my turn to share, I almost felt bad telling her that I had had a natural birth.  She again, reiterated that she could never have a natural birth because it was so painful even with the epidural.

I felt like I knew a secret!  The secret is that yes, labor is painful, and yes, labor is very hard work, but if you work with your body instead of against it, it doesn't have to be excruciating.  I understand that epidurals do give pain relief during labor, but I don't think that they are a magic wand for a pain-free labor.  I'm not speaking from experience here though, as I have never had an epidural.  I have had 3 babies, all naturally. I wouldn't do it any other way!

I can't say that my labors were easy or pain-free.  I can, however, say that I worked very hard during labor.  I told the woman mentioned above, that while I felt my labor was very hard work, I would not describe is as very painful. The best comparison that I can make is to an athletic event.  Labor is a physical event for a woman's body, so a comparison to another physical activity seems to fit well.  In high school I was on the cross-country team.  I enjoyed running, but it was not always easy for me.  As a matter of fact, practice was usually pretty hard, I often had sore muscles from hard training.  I remember when it was race day, feeling so nervous before the start of the race, and as the gun was fired to mark the start of the race, I began to use my legs pushing with everything I had, using those muscles that I had exercised during practice.  While I was running the race I was working hard, my legs would hurt, my lungs would feel as if they couldn't hold any more air, I was breathing fast.  In short, it didn't feel good, until the end.  When the race was over, after I had crossed the finish line, I felt great!  My muscles were still sore, yes, but the sense of accomplishment was overwhelming.  That is what made it all worth it.  All the practices and sore muscles were all worth the glory of crossing the finish line with a personal best time.

Labor is the same way.  It doesn't feel good while you are doing it, it is very hard work.  But once you cross that finish line and are holding your baby, the glory, the rush of hormones is worth is all!  You feel as if you can fly!

Labor isn't only physical, it is also mental and emotional.  If you go into labor expecting it to be a painful experience, it probably will be.  But, if you go into labor expecting to work hard at something that you know your body was designed to do, you will have realistic expectations and be better equipped to handle your labor.

A woman's body is made to birth a baby.  It is an extraordinary event that is very normal for her body.  I don't believe that labor was meant to be painless.  Pain during labor is purposeful. If you tune into your body, and listen to what that pain is telling you, it will guide you into positions and activities are helpful during labor.  Pain is your body's defense mechanism, it tells you what to do to make the situation better. 

The secret I have learned is that labor is not as awful as everyone tells you it is. Labor is hard work, but it's work that can be done, for your baby. 

You (and Your Baby) Are What You Eat

By Melissa Evans

5/13/10

Dr. Brewer was an OB who began his career in the south and saw a lot of pre-eclampsia. He started studying nutrition and pregnancy and found that a proper diet can prevent many diseases, including Metabolic Toxemia of Late Pregnancy. Food is such an emotional thing, it’s hard to say what is “good” and what is “bad.” There are those diets that recommend only meat then there are vegans who avoid anything coming from an animal even if it wasn’t killed in the process. Instead of touting the pros and cons of each, I’d like to offer my basic philosophy.

I teach something both very simple and very complex. Eat food. That sound so basic, but when we read labels on most of the products in conventional grocery stores, it becomes clear that it’s not food. They often sell “food-like substances” and our bodies don’t know what to do with those. Don’t just read the “Nutritional Facts,” those can be highly misleading. Do read through the ingredient list. I don’t like the advice “if you can’t pronounce it, don’t eat it.” I think that says that people with big vocabularies can eat junk and I disagree. Instead, see if you know what the items actually are.

On top of eating real food, Dr. Brewer recommended 80-100 grams of protein daily. That’s quite a bit; but when you become aware of it, it is doable. Eat whole grains (whole wheat pastry flour is heaven sent!), good fats, lots of veggies, salt your food to taste, and drink plenty of water. The salt can be another tricky concept, please note that there is a huge difference between real salt on real food compared to processed stuff-in-a-box loaded with sodium as a preservative. Watch Bobby Flay or Rachel Ray cook and see how much salt they use! Too little salt can cause swelling; our bodies do need some.

I found Saving Diner to be a great tool for weekly menu planning. A bread machine is a great tool too. It’s surprising how easy it is to make some of your own groceries—breads, granola, salad dressings. It’s very satisfying, and having control over the ingredients makes all the difference in the world.

Try tracking your nutrition and see how you’re doing. It’s very eye-opening.  You may be able to make love out of nothing at all, but not nutrients. And baby needs you to put those in your mouth so baby can grow too.